Get a hobby

"My goodness your hands are full!"
"Bless your heart, all boys?"
"You need a girl!"
"You must be exhausted!"
"You are superwoman"

You have probably heard all of these, or some variation of these, if you're a mom of more than one. I hear all of these and many more all the time! The last one listed isn't so bad. I mean we all are superwoman! We are amazing! We multi-task and spend majority of our days keeping our kids alive! These comments don't seem to bother me anymore and I have actually gotten pretty good at having a comeback. No, something else got under my skin and I feel like there are a lot of people out there who will understand.

A few weeks ago I had been feeling off. My husband and I had just gotten back from an adult only trip and I was tired and a little nauseous but thought it was just from overdoing it on vacation. But I was late. Mother nature had not visited me yet and although I was certain she would come to call I decided to pee on a stick just in case. YA'LL!!! It was positive!!! WHAT???
Lately I have gone through an amazing transformation, I have managed to lose around 50 pounds and my monthly cycle has not been regular so I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, thought that this would happen now. But it did.
My husband was unbelievably excited. Clapping his hands like a 5 year old excited. Me? Not so much. I had an anxiety attack in the bathroom when it turned positive. I peed on soooo many sticks it shouldn't be legal. All I could think was how am I going to do this? Is anyone going to be excited for us? What are they going to think? What is my mother going to think?
After a few weeks we heard the heartbeat of the baby, it was strong and healthy and I broke down in tears from relief and excitement. Now I am ready to face this challenge and feel like this IS the right time.

Why did I feel overwhelmed?

So let's back up a little bit.
I have three boys. We had them all about 2 years apart, our last one joined our family December 2015. They all have so much energy and they can run circles around me. They exhaust me. I love them and wouldn't trade them for anything.
I also have a special needs child. A non-verbal, Wheelchair bound, g-tube fed child. He requires a lot of attention and doctors appointments but he has never seemed like an added burden to me. He fits right in with everyone else in my family and he grows and progresses at his own rate. He is just a part of our family and we love him so much. So our life is a little more crazy than others but it's our life and we are happy. Other people see it differently.

It all began when I was pregnant with Zac (the youngest). Things with Oliver (special needs) had still been in full swing to where appointments for therapy were every week, doctors appointments were slung in there between therapy, and specialists were trying to get as much as they could out of him before he turned 3. When I told a physician that I would need to postpone an appointment because I would have a newborn she said "You should have thought harder about getting pregnant, isn't Oliver enough work?" Yeah. People seriously thought I was insane for wanting another child.

When Zac came along we continued to talk about having a fourth kid. We wanted another child because we felt our family wasn't complete and we really wanted to try for a girl. Most people told me I was crazy! Yes I am but that's not the point. When my husband and I were discussing it with family one person pulled me aside and said "You really need to stop having children. You need to go back to school or get a hobby. You have enough children already." Really? Those words have rattled around in my head for over a year. The first thing thing I heard when I saw the positive sign was "get a hobby"

So many people feel the need to tell me to stop having kids. Not for health reasons. Not for financial reasons, but because THEY think I have too many. "You know there is a thing called birth control right?" "You're getting your tubes tied this time right?" "You do know what causes this right?" "You're having ANOTHER baby?" My favorite is when we announced it to family and friends one response was "AGAIN?"

So here I sit, pregnant, emotional, hormonal, and adding to the population.

Whether I decide to have 10 kids, or 15 kids, or just 4, that is between me and my husband. We care for our children. We love our children. We feel that there is one more soul that we need to bring earth side. My family size is my choice.

Please just be happy for anyone who is bringing a life into this world. You never know if they struggled to have that life. If they feel guilty because they are having a baby when all her friends have recently lost a baby. You do not know the circumstances so think before you speak. Your words could forever hurt someone. Having another baby should be exciting and precious and nobody should ever make you feel bad for adding to your family whether you have 10 kids or just 3 or if one is special needs or not. Share in their happiness and congratulate them, help them be excited for the future infant, offer help, there is so much more that can be done than judging them.