Monday, April 27, 2015

Where did the time go?

   There are nights like tonight that I sometimes wonder why do I continue to breastfeed? Why did I not take the "easy way out" and give my baby boy formula and "to fill him up" so he would sleep through the night?? 
   No. It is not a fact that formula fed babies sleep through the night or is even the easy way, but that's what everyone has always said or implied to me... 

"Erin, your baby should be sleeping through the night by at least 6months. Well at least my babies were! I did formula feed my kids though, so that's probably why..." 

   Like I said, I don't think that necessarily has anything to do with it and I definitely DO NOT believe being formula fed is the easy way out in any means, but on nights like tonight, where its 1am and my little boy is awake again to nurse and I am so very exhausted I can barely stand it, that's what I tell myself...

   Then it hit me... 

   Something so profound and special, it brought tears to my eyes and has changed my mind forever...

   As I lay here with my son in the darkness at 1am, him breastfeeding, sprawled across my body, I realized that this moment is not going to last forever...
I have already "blinked to many times", because some how Elijah went from being a day old to a little over a year old in a flash...  

Where did that time go?

Where did the time go, that he latched for the first time like a champ, but then slowly he forgot what he was doing and I had to reteach him again and again?

         Elijah's first Latch! 

Where did the times go, I sat and cried at night holding him against my breast trying my hardest because I knew that is what I wanted for my son, no matter if I was so exhausted and in pain that I wished it would end? 

Where did that one time go, I remember my son nursing and it was all of a sudden Amazing and painless? 

What happened to that magical moment?

Where did the time go when Elijah hurt himself and I was able to comfort him like nobody else ever could, by just latching him on? 


Where did that one time go he first smiled at me while nursing and my heart completely melted??

The first time he smiled at me while nursing! 


Where did that one time go I reached my biggest breastfeeding accomplishment of making it to a year of especially breastfeeding? 

Where did THAT time go?


   I could go on and on but my point is.... 

TIME GOES TO FAST

   We (mainly speaking for myself) need to stop wishing for time to go by and our little ones to grow up so fast! 

Enjoy them and all they do NOW!

Enjoy the bad as much as you in enjoy the good....

What?? Is that even possible?? 
   Yes it is... Maybe not in the moment but try to remind yourself it is only short term so you need to embrace it!

   Enjoy the silly and the distracted baby moments!
We (again speaking for myself.) let ourselves get so worked up over little things like our babies not nursing because they got distracted...but It is ok.

 I promise mama!!

 I wish I had known...

   They may not eat at that moment but they will eat, babies will NOT let themselves starve! 

...So breathe...

   And enjoy it, laugh it off, watch your baby enjoy the world and his or her surroundings! 
The world is a big, colorful, fun place and they just want to take it all in... Wouldn't you? 

   So as I lay here, breastfeeding my son, at now almost 2am, I will not complain about it anymore because time just flies right on by before our eyes! Instead, I will embrace and love this moment. I will remember the journey it took to get to here, and thank God every day that I was blessed with an amazing little boy who brightens every part of my day and was able to breastfeed when so many babies can't...
   I will not wish anything but for time to slow down and to enjoy my son NOW because before I know it will all be over, this is not just for breastfeeding but their lives in general, and I will have wished it hadn't!
   I will do ALL these things no matter what, because that is why I do what I do every night at 1am, maybe 3am,  4am , and who knows some days 5am.
   So I end this by kissing my baby boy on his head and embracing this moment for it is my Now that I want to last forever! <3

-Erin Chavez



Breastfeeding at his 1st Birthday party! 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Elijah Mason

   Today is an emotional but very special day for my family, it is April 9th, the day my husband's and my life changed forever... For the better!! 
Our sweet boy, Elijah Mason was welcomed with love and open arms into this crazy world, one year ago today...
       And this is his story! 

   After my husband and I got married, in June 2012, we opted out of using Birth control.  We are a very religious family, and starting a family was not something we took lightly and without the guidance of our Heavenly Father. We prayed very hard about if we were making a good decision by not preventing having children. After a few prayers and planning we knew we made the right decision. With some heartache and time, we got pregnant in July of 2013 (found out August 10th)!
We were over the moon... And scared as heck... But mostly over the moon! 
 


 
   I loved my pregnancy so much! Each day I carried my baby was such a blessing for me, I never took one day for granted. Though I did not like my morning sickness, extreme heartburn, and lack of sleep to much I would never trade having my son for anything... And honestly, I would probably be pregnant every day if I could!! HA! 

   I can remember the day I found out I was pregnant, to when I found out my baby's gender, to his birth like it was yesterday!

"It's a Boy!!"

  My pregnancy flew by so fast... I think being pregnant during the holiday season helped with that! 
Thank goodness!


The Christmas Season!

  It was such an exciting time  and bonding experience for Tony and I to be able to plan and think about our future with our son. 
It felt like the end of my pregnancy came too fast, but yet not fast enough! 
I had been dilated to a 1cm (which is nothing really) since 30 weeks and constant Braxton hicks since 20 weeks... I wanted Elijah to wait as long as possible to come but yet I wanted him to be in my arms every day...
After dropping at 35 weeks I knew, like I did my whole pregnancy, my was son was going to come early! 

   I woke up April 8th (38weeks 2 days pregnant) around 6am feeling a little off. I just laid in bed knowing that something was up, when all of the sudden I felt this weird peeing sensation. I was pretty sure that my water had just broken or at least started. I ran into the bathroom because I really really didn't want my water to fully explode all over my new sweats and bed... Priorities, I know.... I went to the restroom to check and that is when I noticed I lost my mucus plug and had my bloody show, on top of my water breaking! I sat on the toilet for a good loooong while figuring out what I needed to do. I then got up grabbed a towel, a pair of Tony's basketball shorts, and then laid back in bed for a bit while tony slept. I figured if I was going into labor he needed all the rest he can get, as did I. Then about 15mins of laying in bed my contractions at that point pretty much came on full force... I left the room and called a good friend of mine, who studied to be a doula. We talked for a bit and tried to make sure it was my water breaking and if I was actually going into labor, we decided I was definitely having early labor, so she finally she suggested me to go rest just Incase we were right. I rested for like 20mins because I realized my apartment was a mess and I didn't wanna return home, with a baby, to a disaster!
   Finally, after about an hour and a half of being awake, Tony woke up for work and I explained what was going on. He was hesitant, but I sent him to work, since I didn't see the need for him to waste a day standing around while I didn't do much...
I did have a friend come over around 9am to keep me company and incase of an emergency. 
   She cleaned some, we watched Frozen, ate food, she painted my nails all while I was having contractions about every 7 mins apart. Then I realized I needed a few last minute items for the hospital for when we got home (pads and granny panties, all that fun stuff) so we went to target, then Burlington's. 
   Which leads to a funny story. When we were at Burlington's while checking out, I started to have this huge contraction while I was trying to pay and I apparently threw my debit card at the cashier because I was hurting and not focusing... Oops.... and on top of that my friend was just standing there timing my contraction, needless to say we looked quite ridiculous and I am pretty sure we freaked the cashier out! Hahaha. 


   My laboring belly at my friend's house! 

   The rest of the day after that was pretty laid back, I just labored intensely and hung out at my friend's house until tony got home from work. Once he arrived we ate dinner, my water broke the rest of the way finally, and then headed out to the hospital to get admitted seeing my contractions were now 2-3mins apart and I was in so much pain at this point.
 
...Longest car ride ever....

   Once we arrived (8:45pm)
it took 30 mins of standing in the lobby trying to find my preregistration crap and medical files... Finally, they realized I was dying so they sent me up to triage to get all
Situated and would have Tony come back down to take care of everything. 
Luckily, by the time we made it to the bed they found my info so Tony was able to stay with me the whole time... Once in triage I got Into this "adorable" hospital gown and waited to be checked. 

Didn't I look great?? 


Falling asleep on the job... Jk!

   When we got all changed and situated they came and checked me, I was dilated a 2cm and 80% effaced. I remember being soooo mad because I had labored all day and was already dilated to a 1cm since 30 weeks! 
After all that, I got hooked up to some antibiotic because my water has broken for longer then 12hrs... My contractions started to pick up and became very intense at this point. They were 1-2mins apart and I was getting really frustrated because I wanted to be in delivery our room already.... 

  Finally we got to our room a little over an hour later (10:30 pm), where my friend (who had been with all day), my mom, and dad joined us. It was great to have everyone there but unfortunately the moment we walked into ou room my contractions went from 1-2mins to 30sec apart... I thought I was gonna die. Though I remember everyone telling me I was surprisingly calm and during my contractions!
 The nurse checked me about 11:30 pm and I had dilated between a 3 or 4, 90% effaced, and his head descended to a 0. 
   Many of my friends and family know I really wanted an all natural (or as close as possible) birth but after battling with myself for about 45mins if I wanted/needed an epidural or not, I gave in... My friend who came as support did her best to convince me out of the epidural like I asked her to do! 
But I knew my body was getting so weak and with the only bearable position I could labor in being standing, since I was laboring solely in my back, I had no more strength and couldn't do it anymore. I remember shaking so badly...
The nurse tried to put me in a new position on the bed and it just made it worse so in that moment I prayed for strength and I knew I that I need an epidural so I could fully enjoy my son coming...

Ya know, just laboring....

Right before I got my epidural and my husband telling me it was ok and to trust my instincts!

 We told the nurse and I was about 6-7cm at this point, so we called the guy in to get my epidural done and over with.  Another funny thing that happened during all this, I remember yelling at the guy who administers the epidural for taking to long as I was clearly dying from labor! Lol. He didn't hurry any faster,... Anyways, finally I had the epidural, after 20 hrs of back labor, things calmed down and smoothly from then on out:)
    I was able to laugh, enjoy my company, and actually focus on my reason for being there and not the pain I was in. 3 hrs later my nurse came and checked on me and said I was at a 9cm, 100% effaced and baby was at a 1+ (meaning his head was fully engaged in my pelvis) and I was to ready to push. Instead of letting me push, she let me labor for another 45mins until my doctor arrived.

 Once my doctor arrived it was time to start pushing!

I remember thinking, I was just about to meet my son for the first time! All my wonder of what he would look like, what he would be like, and so much more, was about to discovered! I was nervous but yet so so excited! 
This was it, I was about to become a mom FOREVER! 
 
So we began to push....
5 perfect strong pushes later at 7:09 am, on April 9th, Elijah Mason Chavez was born. 
I was an emotional wreck... But who isn't after 26hrs of labor and giving birth?!

Love at first sight! 

 It was worth all the pain, stress, and everything in between!!!! 


<3



I love my son so much I can't even imagine my life with out him💙 
He is only 1 years old but has changed my life forever!!! 
We are so blessed to have such a fun spirited, snuggly, sweet little boy, who can bring a smile to anyone's face.
     Being a charmer! 

This year flew by with just a blink and it gets me emotional thinking that in just 18 more "blinks" and he will be heading out on his own, hopefully becoming the man, his father and I dreamt and raised him to be.
 Elijah has shown us so much for being such a little guy, he has given a new meaning to life and love, without him our world would be empty! 
😍 
HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY my Sweet Sweet Baby Boy!
 We love you so much, words can't barely describe it!

1yr down and eternity to go!!!
     Easter, April 4th, nearly a year old!!


           Happy Birthday buddy!!