Get a hobby

"My goodness your hands are full!"
"Bless your heart, all boys?"
"You need a girl!"
"You must be exhausted!"
"You are superwoman"

You have probably heard all of these, or some variation of these, if you're a mom of more than one. I hear all of these and many more all the time! The last one listed isn't so bad. I mean we all are superwoman! We are amazing! We multi-task and spend majority of our days keeping our kids alive! These comments don't seem to bother me anymore and I have actually gotten pretty good at having a comeback. No, something else got under my skin and I feel like there are a lot of people out there who will understand.

A few weeks ago I had been feeling off. My husband and I had just gotten back from an adult only trip and I was tired and a little nauseous but thought it was just from overdoing it on vacation. But I was late. Mother nature had not visited me yet and although I was certain she would come to call I decided to pee on a stick just in case. YA'LL!!! It was positive!!! WHAT???
Lately I have gone through an amazing transformation, I have managed to lose around 50 pounds and my monthly cycle has not been regular so I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, thought that this would happen now. But it did.
My husband was unbelievably excited. Clapping his hands like a 5 year old excited. Me? Not so much. I had an anxiety attack in the bathroom when it turned positive. I peed on soooo many sticks it shouldn't be legal. All I could think was how am I going to do this? Is anyone going to be excited for us? What are they going to think? What is my mother going to think?
After a few weeks we heard the heartbeat of the baby, it was strong and healthy and I broke down in tears from relief and excitement. Now I am ready to face this challenge and feel like this IS the right time.

Why did I feel overwhelmed?

So let's back up a little bit.
I have three boys. We had them all about 2 years apart, our last one joined our family December 2015. They all have so much energy and they can run circles around me. They exhaust me. I love them and wouldn't trade them for anything.
I also have a special needs child. A non-verbal, Wheelchair bound, g-tube fed child. He requires a lot of attention and doctors appointments but he has never seemed like an added burden to me. He fits right in with everyone else in my family and he grows and progresses at his own rate. He is just a part of our family and we love him so much. So our life is a little more crazy than others but it's our life and we are happy. Other people see it differently.

It all began when I was pregnant with Zac (the youngest). Things with Oliver (special needs) had still been in full swing to where appointments for therapy were every week, doctors appointments were slung in there between therapy, and specialists were trying to get as much as they could out of him before he turned 3. When I told a physician that I would need to postpone an appointment because I would have a newborn she said "You should have thought harder about getting pregnant, isn't Oliver enough work?" Yeah. People seriously thought I was insane for wanting another child.

When Zac came along we continued to talk about having a fourth kid. We wanted another child because we felt our family wasn't complete and we really wanted to try for a girl. Most people told me I was crazy! Yes I am but that's not the point. When my husband and I were discussing it with family one person pulled me aside and said "You really need to stop having children. You need to go back to school or get a hobby. You have enough children already." Really? Those words have rattled around in my head for over a year. The first thing thing I heard when I saw the positive sign was "get a hobby"

So many people feel the need to tell me to stop having kids. Not for health reasons. Not for financial reasons, but because THEY think I have too many. "You know there is a thing called birth control right?" "You're getting your tubes tied this time right?" "You do know what causes this right?" "You're having ANOTHER baby?" My favorite is when we announced it to family and friends one response was "AGAIN?"

So here I sit, pregnant, emotional, hormonal, and adding to the population.

Whether I decide to have 10 kids, or 15 kids, or just 4, that is between me and my husband. We care for our children. We love our children. We feel that there is one more soul that we need to bring earth side. My family size is my choice.

Please just be happy for anyone who is bringing a life into this world. You never know if they struggled to have that life. If they feel guilty because they are having a baby when all her friends have recently lost a baby. You do not know the circumstances so think before you speak. Your words could forever hurt someone. Having another baby should be exciting and precious and nobody should ever make you feel bad for adding to your family whether you have 10 kids or just 3 or if one is special needs or not. Share in their happiness and congratulate them, help them be excited for the future infant, offer help, there is so much more that can be done than judging them.

Please, no ginger ale. (TMI)

Hyperemesis Gravidarum. HG. It's something that has affected me for the first 26-ish weeks of my pregnancies with all of my kids. That makes me one of the lucky ones, some people have it until they give birth, or even beyond. The only pregnancy that I didn't suffer with it was with our angel baby. So in a way, it's almost comforting that I am suffering with it again. Sort of. I mean, every morning that I wake up and have to run for the toilet to puke reminds me that my baby is still growing. But I guess comforting isn't the right word, because there is nothing comfortable about HG. Reassuring, maybe?

Wait, suffering again? But that must mean... SURPRISE! The Mojicas are expecting baby #4!
We found out the week before last. The whole family had been struck with a stomach bug that was going around and even though I don't normally catch stomach bugs, even when my kids do, I was struck too. (And this is the TMI part - sorry!) While all the kids that had it were throwing up, most of the grown ups that we knew who had caught it, only had, fever, nausea and the runs. Well by the third day, my fever had gone away and so had the diarrhea, but the nausea was getting worse. I knew then that I had to take a test. The next day came and the nausea was accompanied by severe food aversions. That's it, I KNEW for sure that if I tested, it would be positive. So I took a test, more as a formality than anything, I already knew what it would say, and sure enough, there were two lines.
While most normal people that still wanted more kids would be nothing but happy to find out they are expecting a new addition to their family, my happiness was accompanied with dread. It's a feeling that other HG mamas know all too well. You see, HG isn't just your regular, run of the mill morning sickness, oh no. It's so much more than that. Morning sickness is generally characterised by nausea and vomiting, and maybe some mild food aversions. For some people it lasts all day, but for most, it's intermittent. Morning sickness usually goes away with the first trimester and can generally be remedied with sea bands, crackers and ginger ale.
HG on the other hand, is extreme and unrelenting. You are sick every waking moment, with no relief. You have aversions to EVERYTHING. You have very few 'safe foods'. You have to eat, not only to fuel your body and the baby, but also because the emptier your stomach gets, the sicker you get. But eating is a chore. You don't get hungry in the way you used to, instead, your stomach just feels empty.
Food aversions are so extreme, that just the thought of food makes you heave. Scrolling through social media feeds is a dangerous game, because every picture of food that you scroll past makes you gag, if not throw up.
HG makes you tired and weak, to the point that normal, everyday tasks are exhausting. Taking a shower feels like I have just run a marathon. Walking from the living room to the kitchen means that I have to stop and rest before I can do anything else. Just yesterday, Anthony had to help me up off the floor because I had gotten dizzy and sat down and I couldn't get myself back up again.
And that's not all, there are other symptoms: altered sense of taste. I would describe foods and what they taste like now, but if I do, I will be running for my puke bucket. Just know that it's extreme and unpleasant.
Heightened sense of smell. Everything has a strong smell, even things that didn't smell before. And of course, every smell is bad. I can smell heat coming from out oven, hotplates and toaster. I can smell the coldness from our fridge and freezers. One of the worst smells for me is people. It's not something that I had ever smelled  before getting pregnant, so I know it's just my HG, but EVERYONE has this smell, I can't even describe it. It's just the smell of humans. I can smell it on their breath and on their skin. I can smell it through their soap when they are freshly bathed. It's just there. The smell of humans.
I get dizzy all the time. Probably because I can't even keep down water most of the time. And I have no normal body temperature, I am always either freezing cold or burning hot, there is no in between.
All in all, it's a nightmare and all I can do is try to cope, to get through each day.
Medication helps, but that just gets me to the point that I just described above, I can't even imagine not having it.
Other than that, all I can do to cope is find my safe foods, today it's triscuits and string cheese, the other day I could eat almonds, but that's out now. I try to eat a little bit every twenty minutes or so to keep my stomach from being empty and pray that it stays down.
If you know anybody suffering from HG, please know that they are not exaggerating, it is a nightmare. Crackers and ginger ale don't help. Things that usually help morning sickness dont help. The rare things that do help can change from day to day.
It's a frustrating and lonely sickness and all I can ask of my friends and family is to not talk about food to me and please, please pray that it goes away sooner than my previous pregnancies. ❤